She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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