my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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