How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
