I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
