Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
