I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
