Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
