I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
try to milk me bitch
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
