He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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