she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
