Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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