so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
