If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Houston, we have a blender
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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