Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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