So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
