woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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