What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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