you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
