She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
