I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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