Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
