Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
