don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
