I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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