I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Randomize
