I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
