Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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