we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
