I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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