Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
