I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
