Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
