How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
