I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
