What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
