I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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