Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
