Is it normal to miss your booty call?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
