I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize