hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
