OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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