Your tits are I can't wait for
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
