Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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