Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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