i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
