we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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