so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
