I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My vagina is officially offended.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
