are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
