I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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