I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
