Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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