exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
